I have a 6 years old niece who talks and talks a lot. shez cute, she does everything to show that what she has done is right. i just have to ask her why she didnt had her breakfast. she will go on and on . trying to convince me . i lover her. i pay attention to whatever she says.shez cute. why am i telling you all this?. from past few days i have been visiting Yaz's blog. Online version of my neice ramblings;). i hope my neice gets some literary sense of Yaz when she grows up. Yaz is sweet and cute too :).

if you want to read something unadulterated , something soothing, something innoncently coherent , something to smile about, something which takes u to your childhood, something that can brings back the child in you. i would highly recommend reading Yaz's blog.

RAMBLING MONOLOGUES

Understanding Pentagon-Speak



It’s very difficult keeping up with Mideast news due to the Orwellian newspeak coming from Washington. So here’s handy list of key terms, translated into simple English.

LIBERATION – Invasion.

COALITION – The US and British invaders, plus some troops from rent-a-nations like Romania and Poland. In the past, ‘the coalition’ would have been called Imperial Forces and mercenary auxiliaries.

DICTATOR – A ruler you don’t like, or who does not cooperate.

STATESMAN – A cooperative dictator.

STABILITY – When things go the way Uncle Sam like, i.e. the status-quo.

INSTABILITY – When things don’t go the way Uncle Same wants, when trouble-makers try to change the status-quo.

IRAQ RECONSTRUCTION – A process whereby big firms that contribute to the US President’s re-election campaign obtain contracts, without any bidding, to rebuild the damage caused by US bombing.

FREEING IRAQ’S OIL ASSETS – Washington’s seizure and sale of Iraqi oil, this in no way can be compared to Cuba’s seizure and sale of US-owned property, a dastardly crime.

MIDEAST DEMOCRACY- Regimes that hold rigged elections and obey Washington’s orders.

FREE TRADE – Pouring goods and services into the newly ‘liberated’ country, and buying up its key industrial assets at fire-sale prices.

TERRORISM – Violent acts by dangerous fanatics and malcontents who refuse to accept the downtrodden status assigned to them by Washington. Also, haters of western culture, which has reached its zenith in Crawford, Texas.

ANTI-TERRORISM – State terrorism.

URANIUM – A yellowish mineral from Niger that causes red faces in the While House.

IRAQ ADMINISTRATOR – A pro-consul or gauliter, disguised as a minor suburban bureaucrat.

DRONES OF DEATH – Iraqi remotely piloted aircraft that President George Bush claimed were poised to fly off Iraqi ships lurking in the North Atlantic – shades of Admiral Yamamoto – then shower fiendish germs on a sleeping America. Turned out to be two model airplanes, only one of which could fly. See ‘Vans of Death’.

VANS OF DEATH – Claimed by Washington to be Iraqi mobile germ warfare laboratories but turned out, on inspection, to be British-supplied trucks for inflating weather balloons.

WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION – Nasty weapons, existing or non-existing, that the other side has. When your side has them, they become invisible.

TORTURE – A foul act committed by your enemies. When your side does it, it’s called intensive interrogation in Guantanamo.

HOMELAND SECURITY- Bolding the bar door after the horse has escaped by rounding up Muslims, beating them in prison, and denying them due process of law.

FRENCH – Insubordinate ingrates and depraved chain smokers who had the nerve to try to block the jolly little war in Iraq, and now sneer, ‘we told you so’

GERMANS – Untrustworthy. Just when you order them to b warlike again, they go soft. Wait until they see the next dozen WWII epics from Hollywood.

PAKISTANIS – Untrustworthy Muslims with terrorist under their beds who would all deserve to be in the Guantanamo terrorist Hilton if they were not lucky enough to have a true statesman as a leader. Still, the Taliban-loving Paks are on probation and cant be trusted with grown-up weapons.

FOX-NEWS – The Ministry of Truth

AL-JAZEERA NEWS – All the bad news we don’t want to hear. See ‘Fox-News’.

DIE-HARDS AND SADDAM LOYALISTS – Any Iraqis opposing the invasion of their country. Iraq ‘Administrator Bremer calls them ‘professional killers’. Not to be confused with US Army professional soldiers, who are…stability engineers.

TRAITORS AND FRIENDS OF SADDAM – Journalists who question the Bush Administration’s lurid claims over Iraq’s purported threat.

PEACEKEEPERS – Troops from browbeaten or bribed vassal states sent to perform garrison duty in US-occupied nations that the Pentagon wants to avoid, or lacks the troops to do.

NEW IRAQI GOVERNMENT – An august body that leaps to its feet and salaams when a US soldier enters the room, and has total authority over garbage collection, sewers and camel catching.

SADDAM HUSSEIN – A former, close American ally who got too big for his britches. If not assassinated, may soon be needed again to run Iraq for Washington.

UDAY AND QUSAY – Most dictators have problem sons; just look at poor Ceausescu and Milosevic. Yes, Saddam’s boys were big-time delinquents, but Crazy Uday’s real crime was making fun in his newspaper of George W. Bush, and calling the touchy president a draft-dodging wimp. That’s why he and Qusay got blasted with a score of dozen anti-tank missies rather than a nice show trial in Baghdad. Texas justice. Panama’s General Noriega, aka ‘pineapple face’, called the more forgiving Papa Bush a wimp and got invaded and thrown into prison forever.

IRAQ (PRONOUNCED IN THE USA AS ‘EYE-RAQ’ – A democracy-seeking Arab state that volunteered for mentoring and tutelage from Washington in exchange for American automobile drivers keeping their tanks full of cheap gas.

How to Identify An Idiot?

(1) He spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said, "concentrate".

(2) He puts lipstick on the forehead because he wanted to makeup his mind.

(3) He gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

(4) He sends a fax with a stamp on it.

(5) He tries to drown a fish.

(6) If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change.

(7) He trips over a cordless phone.

(8) He takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

(9) At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here", he puts "Sagittarius".

(10) He takes 2 hours to watch "60 minutes".

(11) He invents a solar powered flashlight.

(12) He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moves.

(13) He misses the No. 14 Bus, and takes the 7 twice instead.


(14) He takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport left", and he turned around and went home.

(15) He got locked in a furniture shop but sleeps on the floor.

(16) He spends time reading thru the above 15 points & analyzes if he is an IDIOT!

Major and Minor Shirks


One of the most important obligations is to know the meaning of Shirk, its seriousness and its different types, so that our Tawheed (belief in the Oneness of Allaah) and our Islam may be complete, and our faith may be sound. We say – And Allaah is the Source of strength and true guidance comes from Him:

Know – may Allaah guide you – that the word shirk in Arabic means taking a partner, i.e., regarding someone as the partner of another. It is said [in Arabic]: ashraka baynahuma (he joined them together) when he regarded them as two of equal status; or ashraka fi amrihi ghayrahu (he introduced another into his affair) when he made two people involved in it.

In terms of sharee’ah or Islamic terminology, shirk means ascribing a partner or rival to Allaah in Lordship (ruboobiyyah), worship or in His names and attributes.

A rival is a peer or counterpart. Hence Allaah forbids setting up rivals with Him and he condemns those who take them (rivals) as gods instead of or besides Allaah in many verses of the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then do not set up rivals unto Allaah (in worship) while you know (that He Alone has the right to be worshipped)”

[al-Baqarah 2:222]

“And they set up rivals to Allaah, to mislead (men) from His path! Say: ‘Enjoy (your brief life)! But certainly, your destination is the (Hell) Fire!’”

[Ibraaheem 14:30]

In the hadeeth it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever dies claiming that Allaah has a rival, will enter Hell.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4497; Muslim, 92.

The types of shirk:

The texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicate that shirk and the ascribing of rivals to Allaah sometimes puts a person beyond the pale of Islam and sometimes does not. Hence the scholars divided shirk into two types which they call shirk akbar (major shirk) and shirk asghar (minor shirk). There follows a brief description of each type:

1 – Major shirk

This means ascribing to someone other than Allaah something that belongs only to Allaah, such as Lordship (ruboobiyyah), divinity (uloohiyyah) and the divine names and attributes (al-asma’ wa’l-sifaat).

This kind of shirk may sometimes be outward, such as the shirk of those who worship idols and graves, or the dead or absent.

Or it may sometimes be hidden, such as those who put their trust in other gods besides Allaah, or the shirk and kufr of the hypocrites. For even though their (hypocrites’) shirk puts them beyond the pale of Islam and means that they will abide forever in Hell, it is a hidden shirk, because they make an outward display of Islam and conceal their kufr and shirk, so they are inwardly mushriks but not outwardly.

Shirk may sometimes take the form of beliefs:

Such as the belief that there is someone else who creates, gives life and death, reigns or controls the affairs of the universe along with Allaah.

Or the belief that there is someone else who must be obeyed absolutely besides Allaah, so they follow him in regarding as permissible or forbidden whatever he wants, even if that goes against the religion of the Messengers.

Or they may associate others with Allaah in love and veneration, by loving a created being as they love Allaah. This is the kind of shirk that Allaah does not forgive, and it is the shirk of which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allaah as rivals (to Allaah). They love them as they love Allaah”

[al-Baqarah 2:165]

Or the belief that there are those who know the Unseen as well as Allaah. This is very common among some of the deviant sects such as the Raafidis (Shi’ah), extreme Sufis, and Baatinis (esoteric sects) in general. The Raafidis believe that their imams have knowledge of the unseen, and the Baatinis and Sufis believe similar things about their awliya’ (“saints”), and so on. It is also shirk to believe that there is someone who bestows mercy in a manner that is befitting only for Allaah, so he shows mercy as Allaah does and forgives sins and overlooks the bad deeds of his worshippers.

Shirk may sometimes take the form of words:

Such as those who make du’aa’ or pray to someone other than Allaah, or seek his help or seek refuge with him with regard to matters over which no one has control except Allaah, whether the person called upon is a Prophet, a wali (“saint”), an angel or a jinn, or some other created being. This is a kind of major shirk which puts one beyond the pale of Islam.

Or such as those who make fun of religion or who liken Allaah to His creation, or say that there is another creator, provider or controller besides Allaah. All of these are major shirk and a grave sin that is not forgiven.

Shirk may sometimes take the form of actions:

Such as one who sacrifices, prays or prostrates to something other than Allaah, or who promulgates laws to replace the rulings of Allaah and makes that the law to which people are obliged to refer for judgement; or one who supports the kaafirs and helps them against the believers, and other acts that go against the basic meaning of faith and put the one who does them beyond the pale of Islam. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

2 – Minor shirk

This includes everything that may lead to major shirk, or which is described in the texts as being shirk, but does not reach the extent of being major shirk.

This is usually of two types:

1 – Being emotionally attached to some means which have no basis and for which Allaah has not given permission, such as hanging up “hands”, turquoise beads etc on the grounds that they offer protection or that they ward off the evil eye. But Allaah has not made them the means of such protection, either according to sharee’ah or according to the laws of the universe.

[Translator’s note: the “hands” referred to are objects made of metal, pottery etc, usually blue or turquoise in colour, that some people hang up to ward off the evil eye, according to their mistaken belief]

2 – Venerating some people or things in a way that does not go so far as ascribing lordship to them, such as swearing by something other than Allaah, or saying, “Were it not for Allaah and So and so,” etc.

The scholars have stipulated guidelines to distinguish major shirk from minor shirk when shirk is mentioned in the texts of sharee’ah. These guidelines include the following:

(i) – When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) states clearly that this action is minor shirk, such as in al-Musnad (27742) where it is narrated that Mahmoud ibn Labeed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The thing that I fear most for you is minor shirk.” They said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what is minor shirk?” He said: “Showing off, for Allaah will say on the Day when people are recompensed for their actions: ‘Go to those for whom you were showing off with your deeds in the world, and see what reward you find with them.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 951.

(ii) – When the word shirk is used in the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah in the indefinite form [without the definite article al-]. This usually refers to minor shirk, and there are many examples of this, such as when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Incantations, amulets and love spells are shirk.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 3883; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 331.

What is meant by shirk here is minor shirk, not major shirk.

Amulets are things that are hung on children such as turquoise beads and the like, which they claim will protect them from the evil eye.

Love spells are something that they do, claiming that it will make a woman beloved to her husband and a man beloved to his wife.

(iii) – If the Sahaabah understood from the texts of sharee’ah that what was meant by shirk here was minor shirk, not major. Undoubtedly the understanding of the Sahaabah carries weight, because they are the most knowledgeable of the people concerning the religion of Allaah, and the most knowledgeable as to the intent of the Lawgiver. For example, Abu Dawood (3910) narrated from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Tiyarah (superstitious belief in omens) is shirk, tiyarah is shirk,” three times, and there is no one among us but (will have some of that) but Allaah will rid him of it by means of tawakkul (putting his trust in Allaah). The words “there is no one among us…” are the words of Ibn Mas’ood, as was explained by the prominent scholars of hadeeth. This indicates that Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) understood that this was minor shirk, because he could not have said, “There is no one among us…” referring to major shirk. Moreover, major shirk cannot be eliminated by means of tawakkul, rather it is essential to repent therefrom.

(iv) – If the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) interpreted the words shirk or kufr in a manner which indicates that what is meant is a minor form thereof and not the major form. For example al-Bukhaari (1038) and Muslim (74) narrated from Zayd ibn Khaalid al-Juhani that he said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) led the morning prayer for us at al-Hudaybiyah following rainfall during the night. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) finished, he turned to face the people and said to them: “Do you know what your Lord has said?” They said: “Allaah and his Messenger know best.” He said: “This morning one of My slaves became a believer in Me and one a disbeliever. As for him who said: ‘We have been given rain by the grace of Allaah and His mercy,’ that one is a believer in Me, a disbeliever in the stars; and as for him who said: ‘We have been given rain by such-and-such a star, that one is a disbeliever in Me, a believer in the stars.’”

The interpretation of the word kufr here is given in another report narrated from Abu Hurayrah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you not know what your Lord said? ‘I do not send any blessing upon My slaves but a group among them become kaafirs thereby because they refer to the stars and attribute things to the stars. This explains that if a person attributes rainfall to the stars by believing that they caused it to fall – when in fact Allaah has not made the stars a means of causing rainfall – his kufr is a kind of ingratitude for the blessing of Allaah. It is well known that ingratitude for the blessing of Allaah is minor kufr. But if a person believes that the stars are controlling the universe and they are the ones that cause the rain to fall, then this is major shirk.

Minor shirk may sometimes take the form of outward actions, such as wearing talismans, strings, amulets and the like, and other words and deeds. And sometimes it may be hidden, like a little bit of showing off.

It may also take the form of beliefs:

Such as the belief that something may be a cause of bringing benefit or warding off harm, when Allaah has not made it so; or believing that there is barakah (blessing) in a thing, when Allaah has not made it so.

It sometimes takes the form of words:

Such as when they said, “We have been given rain by such and such a star,” without believing that that the stars could independently cause rain to fall; or swearing by something other than Allaah, without believing in venerating the thing sworn by or regarding it as equal with Allaah; or saying, “Whatever Allaah wills and you will,” and so on.

It sometimes takes the form of actions:

Such as hanging up amulets or wearing a talisman or string to dispel or ward off calamity, because everyone who attribute powers to a thing when Allaah has not made it so either according to sharee’ah or according to the laws of the universe, has associated something with Allaah. This also applies to one who touches a thing seeking its barakah (blessing), when Allaah has not created any barakah in it, such as kissing the doors of the mosques, touching their thresholds, seeking healing from their dust, and other such actions.

This is a brief look at the division of shirk into major and minor. We cannot go into great detail in this short answer.

Conclusion:

What the Muslim must do is to avoid shirk in both its minor and major forms. The greatest sin is shirk and transgression against the unique rights of Allaah, which are to be worshipped and obeyed alone, with no partner or associate.

Hence Allaah has decreed that the mushrikeen will abide forever in Hell and has told us that He will not forgive them, and He has forbidden Paradise to them, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, Allaah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him (in worship), but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He wills; and whoever sets up partners with Allaah in worship, he has indeed invented a tremendous sin”

[al-Nisa’ 4:48]

“Verily, whosoever sets up partners (in worship) with Allaah, then Allaah has forbidden Paradise to him, and the Fire will be his abode. And for the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers) there are no helpers”

[al-Maa'idah 5:72]

Every wise and religiously-committed person should fear shirk for himself and should turn to his Lord, asking Him to help him avoid shirk, as al-Khaleel [Ibraaheem – peace be upon him] said:

“and keep me and my sons away from worshipping idols”

[Ibraaheem 14:35 – interpretation of the meaning]

One of the salaf said: “Who can claim to be safe from this after Ibraaheem?”

So the sincere believer’s fear of shirk should increase as should his desire for his for his Lord to keep him away from it, and he should say the great du’aa’ which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught to his companions when he said to them: “Shirk among you will be more subtle than the footsteps of an ant, but I will teach you something which, if you do it, both minor and major shirk will be kept away from you. Say: Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika an ushrika bika wa ana a’lam wa astaghfiruka lima la a’lam (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from associating anything with You knowingly, and I seek Your forgiveness for that of which I am unaware).”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3731

The above refers to the difference between major and minor shirk, defining each and describing its types.

With regard to the difference between them as far as the ruling is concerned:

Major shirk puts a person beyond the pale of Islam, so the one who does that is judged to be out of Islam and to have apostatized therefrom, so he is a kaafir and an apostate.

Minor shirk does not put a person beyond the pale of Islam, rather it may be done by a Muslim but he still remains in Islam; but the one who does that is in great danger because minor shirk is a major sin. Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “If I were to swear by Allaah falsely, that is better for me than if I were to swear by something other than Him sincerely.” So he regarded swearing by something other than Allaah (which is minor shirk) as being worse than swearing by Allaah falsely, and it is well known that swearing by Allaah falsely is a major sin.

We ask Allaah to make our hearts steadfast in adhering to His religion until we meet Him, and we seek refuge in His Might – may He be glorified – from going astray, for He is the Ever-Living Who never dies, but the jinn and mankind will die. And Allaah knows best and is most wise, and to Him is the final return of all. Ameen.

Subject: Classic! A must read for very citizen of the world!!!

This is a converstaion between an All American Dad and All American Kid!!

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction, honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had
all those big weapons to fight us back with?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons.
We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was
a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his
country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people get exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the @!#$ movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein
came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by
force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing other people’s bread.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan
talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets, I mean, the Russians, are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W.Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A.Yes! You finally understand how the world works.

Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

BUSINESS LOVE LETTER PROPOSAL
--------------------------------
Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you
since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held
between us on 13 Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a
prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and
depending in compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotions from lover to
spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance. I might
take up a larger share of the expenses. However, I am broad-minded
enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter, failing which, offer would be cancelled without further notice and
shall be considering sometime else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to you sister, if
you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely, Mr. ROMEO

BUISNESS REPLY TO THE ABOVE LETTER
----------------------------------
Dear Mr.Romeo,
Please refer to you letter dated today.

I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for
romance. However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions
of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However,
please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be
generous. I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security
concerning this commitment.
If there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent
disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary compensation according
to union standards.
Due tot he nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an
expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP' I
shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances
should be in order and nothing less than a luxury condominium and a Jag
are in order. Please also note that there should be no moonlight
restrictions placed on myself.
If you are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an
urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of
interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.

I am not married. so, cant say how much this is true. Married folks there should be able to put some light on this;)
-----------------------------------

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please?

Thanks,
Joe
**********************************************************************

From: Tech Support
To: Joe

Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem that men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program....... Wrong!

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest that you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case, avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but requires very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0.

I recommend Flowers 2.1, VictoriasSecrets 38.D and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR main operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

If you know cricket a popular sport in indian sub continent

Sachin Tendulkar the greatest batsman india or the world has ever produced(some might question this, i personally rate Viv Richards better). Everyone in india vouch for his commitment to his country. his dedication , his patriotism. until one fine day our little master Sachin spreads his ugly wings. he asks for a custom duty waiver on a Ferrari gift recieved from Fiat. the customs duty comes up to 1.25 Crores(12.5 Million Indian Rupees) and the govt waves it saying its in public intrest. now the question is why should sachin actually ask for waiver when he can easily pay it(the guy earns millions in endorsments) and why should the govt waive it .

To quote from one of the comments in the article am listing.
Quote: "Centre was "satisfied" that the exemption was necessary in "public interest." Unquote. The Centre has never known & will never know where public interest lies. Instead of waiving duty for a person who can very well afford to pay it, they should utilise the tax that Tendulkar pays them for his free car to improve infrastructure. They could start with the so-called roads which we have, which will indirectly benefit Tendulkar, so that his precious Ferrari does not get damaged driving on them! . Read on..................

Playing Basketball..........Are you ready for your turn ?

He was a student, probably in his early twenties. I didn't know his name-I really didn't care. All I know is he was going for a lay-up while playing basketball, lost his balance and fell on the ground--flat on his back.

We thought he would shake it off and continue the game--so no one really cared. To everyones surprise, he never got up. At first a few people on his team (later everyone) went up to him but he just wouldn't reply.

CPR did no good. The ambulance personel couldn't save him from dying. The result at the ER was no better. HE WAS DEAD!

As I came home tonight, I thought to myself, it could have been me going up for that lay-up. It is very possible that I could be laying in the cold city morgue, right this minute, as I type this e-mail.

Am I ready to die? Did I communicate with Allah today? Did I perform my daily prayers? Did I seek the pleasure of Allah?

Did I treat my parents and family with respect and love? Did I give any at all in charity (sadaqa) today? How many times did I remember Allah and recount His name?

The entire day I made time to go to school, check my e-mail, read the news, chat with friends, watch TV, play basketball.......but did I even once say "Astagfirullah"? Did I ask Allah to forgive the sins that I've commited today? NO! Not once.

Did I say "Alhamdulillah" other than in my daily prayers? NO! Not once my friends. Would you like to know why? Because I was too caught up with myself and my daily activities.

Well, guess what. I could have lost my life during a lay-up in a basketball game and what do I have with me? Not a thing. Nothing that I did today do I get to bring with me to the grave. Nothing.

A few words that I could have uttered were the only things that I could have brought with me. A few words that would've taken a few seconds of concentration out of the 24 hrs. that was alloted to me.

A few cents in charity instead of cold drinks and candy bars could have saved my soul. But I insisted to continue with my careless attitude.

Thank Allah! it wasn't my turn to go, because I sure wasn't ready.

Now I close my eyes and say Alhamdulillah. Now I look back and say Astagfirullah. Now I have a different attitude. Now, I want to prepare for my turn.

Did you perform your prayers today? Did you give in charity and love? Did you ask for forgiveness yet? Do you care? I'm asking because I don't want to see you fall, knowing you aren't ready for your turn.

Are you ready for your turn?

Author: Unknown

Courtesy: www.everymuslim.com